Take a walk and let partners who are tired of each other fall in love again
Imagine this scenario:
You and your partner have been arguing about something for several days. You've tried to sit down and have a good talk, but it always ends up in vain.
Finally, you suggest taking a walk together.
Something wonderful happens. As you walk side by side, the tension of the past few days seems to slowly dissipate. Without realizing it, your steps and breathing start to synchronize. When you bring up that tricky issue again, your thoughts seem to be more in line.
Many people don't realize that taking a walk - this ordinary daily activity - not only benefits your body but also nourishes your intimate relationship in many unexpected ways.
It helps partners in a tense situation handle conflicts better and re - energizes a stagnant relationship.
Love never fades away. Maybe you just need to go out for a walk. In today's article, we'll talk about: taking a walk, this small thing that nourishes love.
After depression and anxiety are alleviated, we can love each other well
When we complain about a poor intimate relationship, it's very likely that we are simply unhappy.
You may have had this feeling. One day when work doesn't go well, when you get home from work, you find your partner annoying and even want to pick a fight.
A depressed person won't feel that the relationship is vibrant, and an anxious person will feel that there are crises everywhere in the relationship. When our inner world is full of pain and conflicts, it's hard for us to be a good lover.
Taking a walk is one of the few forms of exercise that has a low starting cost, is easy to do, and can quickly relieve depression and anxiety.
Many studies have confirmed this:
All forms of walking, with different walking frequencies, durations, locations (indoor or outdoor), and forms (group or individual), can effectively reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety [1].
Walking together can synchronously lower the cortisol levels of partners and reduce the transfer of negative emotions caused by stress [2].
Also, due to the alleviation of negative emotions, walking can create "positive memories" of the relationship for us and our partners. These positive memories are like depositing money in the bank, allowing our relationship to have a more sufficient "balance" to consume when facing challenges.
When there are enough positive memories, our brains can also associate this behavior with happiness. Just mentioning taking a walk may make you feel better, even before you've stepped out of the door.
You can't argue while taking a walk
No matter how much in love partners are, conflicts are everywhere.
When encountering conflicts, the advice we often hear is: "Sit down and have a good talk." Indeed, communication is extremely important, but "sitting down to talk" is not always the best choice. You may find that you quickly fall into your own emotional whirlpools, spend a lot of time attacking each other and defending yourselves, and there isn't much progress in discussing the problem.
When the relationship reaches an impasse, maybe you need to go out for a walk. Because psychologists have long discovered that walking is very effective in improving conflicts between people.
How does this process happen?
- Physical movements during walking can relieve conflicts
If you think carefully, you'll find that in human communication, the language related to conflict resolution is a form of "movement", such as: reach (a consensus), take a step back, it's over, get stuck.
This inspired some researchers that movement might be a way to solve conflicts.
Later, researchers indeed found that exercise affects emotions and thinking through physical feedback, and embodied cues can trigger decision - making, judgment, and goal - oriented behavior [3].
For example, when people engage in smooth movements (such as floating or drifting), they will have positive emotions and recall positive things, while sharp movements (such as pushing and pulling objects forcefully) will lead to negative emotions and memories [4]; when people imagine themselves moving forward along a path, their intention and effort to engage in their studies will also increase [5].
Back to conflicts, conflicts are often regarded as "obstacles to progress". The movement of walking is smooth and forward - moving. This seems to imply a metaphor: the relationship is no longer stuck by this obstacle, and both parties can move forward.
In addition, a strong tendency of action willingness (that is, the transition from one state to another) is also beneficial to conflict resolution. So sometimes just making the decision to "go for a walk together" can counter the avoidance tendency usually caused by conflicts [6].
This decision may be the first step for both parties to try to "reconcile" and show the sincerity to understand each other better.
- Walking enhances creative thinking and helps solve conflicts
Conflicts easily make people fall into a rigid way of thinking: a narrow perspective, black - and - white thinking, and it's more difficult to change cognition (insisting that one is right).
Therefore, solving conflicts requires people to view things with creative thinking (renewed, open, and cooperative).
Research has found that walking can enhance this creative thinking, and the effect still lasts for a short time after the walk [7]. When walking, you maintain the same pace and rhythm, your thinking is active, your brain is working in a creative way, and new ideas keep emerging.
A TED talk in 2013 also encouraged people to have meetings while walking, "talking while walking", which is more conducive to people's thinking divergence and reaching a consensus.
The next time you're about to have an argument, why not invite the other person, "Let's go out for a walk."
Physiological synchronization strengthens emotional connection
I wonder if you've noticed that when people walk together, they usually walk side by side, and over time, their steps and rhythms will also become the same.
A study surveyed 72 couples, asking them to walk alone, walk with their partners, and walk hand in hand with their partners respectively. The results showed that compared with walking alone, the walking speed of both partners decreased when walking together and walking hand in hand [8].
Researchers speculated that this might be because both parties unconsciously slow down their steps in order to maintain "our consistency".
Don't underestimate this small synchronization of actions. A large number of studies have found that it plays a key role in interpersonal relationships.
▨ It enhances inter - brain synchronization, makes people more inclined to cooperate, more likely to form a "we - type" identity, and more willing to make personal sacrifices for the interests of the group [9].
It can greatly increase empathy for the other person, even in virtual interactions [11].
Synchronization also activates the mirror neuron system, enhances emotional resonance, and strengthens the ability to share emotions [12].
All of the above are important factors needed to build a good intimate relationship. So, when walking together, you'll feel closer to your partner and your relationship will be better.
This synchronization itself is also a concrete metaphor for an intimate relationship: we walk forward side by side and in sync, with roughly the same direction and goals. In this process, we constantly coordinate with each other. If one person walks faster, they adjust the rhythm to adapt to the other. If the steps are inconsistent, they slowly resume synchronization, and they also need to constantly reach a consensus on when to start, turn, and stop.
Maybe love is about being able to walk in sync like this all the time.
The best season for walking has arrived
Spring is probably the best season of the year for walking. The temperature is suitable, the sun is bright but not too strong. Most importantly, the trees are sprouting new buds, the flowers are all in bloom, and everywhere is as beautiful as a painting, which makes people feel better.
Hurry up and pull the person you like to go out for a walk. We've also prepared some tips for you about walking:
- Choose nature first
Although walking (regardless of location) can enhance positive emotions, further research has found that walking in nature makes people feel more positive than walking in an urban environment, and negative emotions such as anger and aggression also decrease more [13].
- Walking slowly is enough
A study on depression patients found that the depression scores of the moderate - intensity walking group decreased by 43.9%, and those of the high - intensity walking group decreased by 43.2%. There was no significant difference between the two groups [14].
So when walking together, there's no need to pursue speed too much. The process itself is more important.
- Avoid phone interference
The benefits brought by walking will be greatly reduced if you are walking while scrolling through your phone.
Remind each other to turn off the phone notifications during the walk. Focus on the surrounding scenery and, of course, each other.
- It's also very happy to talk nonsense
When walking, our thinking is more active and our emotions are more relaxed. Chatting at this time can further warm up the relationship.
You can take this opportunity to talk about difficult topics, or just talk some simple nonsense. It's also very happy.
Summary
Walking together makes people move forward both physically and mentally.
May you be as relaxed and happy in every relationship as you are when walking in spring.