Psychology Today

 

I once came across a netizen who studies mobile phone addiction. Together with his wife, who is a teacher, they conducted an observational study:

In his wife's class of dozens of primary - school students, after a summer of online classes, their academic performances fluctuated to varying degrees.

Among them, 12 children of teachers had their mobile - phone usage strictly controlled. Their academic performances didn't decline significantly.

On the other hand, 27 children whose parents neglected to monitor their mobile - phone time became addicted to mobile phones, and their grades dropped quite severely.

Nine of these 27 children were in a particularly bad situation. Due to long - term gaming and watching short videos, their brain habits were changed. They were in a very poor state in class and couldn't study normally.

The two most severely affected girls, after playing with mobile phones all summer and being exposed to information beyond their age, refused adult control. They even committed burglary and threatened their parents with suicide.

The wife tried her best to help these 9 severely addicted children get back on track.

However, only one child showed some signs of improvement because his parents quit their jobs to supervise him at home. For the other 8 children, the situation was almost irreversible.

It takes more than a decade to educate a child, but it only takes one holiday for mobile phones to ruin a child.

During winter and summer vacations, many parents use mobile phones as a "cost - effective" child - rearing tool, thinking "one phone can keep the child occupied all day".

Little do they know that once children get hooked on mobile phones, they will gradually lose their advantages in survival and development.

However, in situations like online classes, children inevitably have to use mobile phones.

As this kind of situation becomes more common, if parents want to reclaim their children's lives from mobile phones, they really need to use some "clever strategies".

Mobile - Phone Dependency Has Become a Major Part of the Living Environment

Recently, when I was rereading Introduction to Psychology, I found a surprising truth:

Electronic devices such as mobile phones have, as part of the living - environment background, continuously penetrated our lives and imperceptibly changed human physical and mental mechanisms.

This means that children born in this era, whether or not they play with mobile phones, will inevitably be affected by them.

Firstly, mobile phones have a social function. Classmates and peers are all talking about what they've seen on mobile phones, and children's attention gradually shifts to mobile phones. Secondly, mobile phones can quickly relieve stress. Once children experience "how much fun mobile phones can be", they will want to play with mobile phones every time they feel stressed. Moreover, mobile phones change the brain. Proficient use of electronic devices has now become an indispensable survival skill, and everyone's cerebral cortex is being changed by it, resulting in varying degrees of dependence.

The above three factors are all impacts brought about by mobile phones as part of the living - environment background.

So, even if you try your best to prevent children from using mobile phones, it will still be the biggest "suspect" in stealing children's time.

Anders Hansen, the leading psychologist in Sweden, wrote in The Smartphone Brain:

"Teenagers are in the stage when dopamine secretion is at its peak, and they are prone to extreme emotions.

Children at this stage are particularly prone to mobile - phone addiction, leading to a series of problems such as decreased self - control, poor attention, delayed brain development, depression, and autism."

Some parents in the technology industry have realized this and adopted similar coping strategies:

Let children realize that mobile phones are indispensable tools for survival; But reduce children's sensitivity to mobile phones and avoid increasing their degree of addiction to mobile phones.

Steve Jobs, the founder of Apple, always paid close attention to the impact of technology products on children. When he noticed that his children showed signs of mobile - phone addiction, he began to strictly limit their mobile - phone usage time.

Bill Gates, the founder of Microsoft, was even more radical. He once publicly said that he prohibited his children from using mobile phones before they were 14 years old.

Many reports refer to parents like Jobs and Gates as "low - tech parents". They use technology to influence generations, but they keep mobile phones outside family life as much as possible to protect their children's brains to the greatest extent.

This gives us a reminder:

Rather than completely isolating children from mobile phones, it's better to help children develop a system to control their mobile - phone usage as early as possible.

In this way, children can benefit from the value of mobile phones while using them, without being pulled into the abyss of addiction.

How to Cultivate Children's Resistance to Addiction?

In practice, it's very complicated to control how much children use mobile phones.

On one hand, children should be proficient in using mobile phones to search for information, learn English, and take online classes; On the other hand, it seems almost impossible to prevent them from endless gaming, watching short videos, and surfing the Internet.

However, from a psychological perspective, there is a way to balance whether children use mobile phones for entertainment or for self - improvement.

Behind children's needs for mobile phones, there is an obvious psychological tendency: motivation.

Psychology holds that once there is a lack or imbalance inside an organism, needs arise, which then turn into motivation, stimulating the organism to take action to meet these needs.

We can cultivate children's anti - addiction habits by grasping the three functions of motivation:

1. Activation function

Does the mobile phone motivate children to do something or suppress their motivation? Just as a hungry person is more sensitive to food while a full person has no interest in looking for food. When external stimuli are related to internal motivation, children are more likely to be activated. When I was a child, my father liked playing games, and there were a lot of game cartridges at home. I played games from the fifth grade of primary school until I got into college. However, I didn't neglect my studies because of playing games. This was because my father played an important activation function:

He taught me to use the computer software RPGmaker to create my own game, and he asked two senior brothers majoring in software engineering to cooperate with me. During the whole summer vacation between junior and senior high school, I was learning how to write code, edit scripts, and set game plots... With the help of the two brothers, I even created a 3 - minute animated plot using the software, which shocked the entire online forum at that time.

My father understood games and knew why I liked them. He could understand my motivation and stimulate my enthusiasm according to it. Once motivation is activated, enthusiasm will be continuously generated. A child with a firm goal in mind has no time to get addicted to things other than the goal.

2. Directing function

Different directions of motivation lead to different activity directions and goals. If a child doesn't know what they like or don't like and doesn't get enough support from parents when pursuing their passions, they are more likely to be easily lured by mobile phones due to internal emptiness.

 On the contrary, if a child's internal motivation has a strong directing function, even if they play with mobile phones, they will use them to help pursue their passions; They may even give up playing with mobile phones and choose a lifestyle that is more conducive to pursuing their passions.

This is why many psychologists encourage parents to cultivate their children's passions. Even if a child just likes kneading plasticine, which seemingly has nothing to do with learning, the direction provided by passion can help children clear obstacles in their learning career. Because children can experience the highest - level of happiness from what they love most. As long as this kind of happiness won't be overshadowed by the happiness brought by mobile phones, the path in the child's heart won't deviate.

3. Maintaining and regulating function

Children have a motivation - regulating system in their hearts. If they can control themselves around this motivation, adjust the intensity and duration, it's difficult for their brains to be changed by mobile phones. For example, parents can guide children to play some games that are beneficial for improving attention.

Telling children that they can play these games for 10 minutes to relax when they are tired from studying is adjusting the intensity of motivation.

 When children are overwhelmed by the information on mobile phones and have no energy to do anything, if parents guide them to travel, climb mountains, swim, run, or just do some simple physical activities, their energy will gradually recover. In general, the maintaining and regulating function is like a safety airbag when children are mentally exhausted.

When children realize that they can adjust their moods when using mobile phones instead of being led by the emotions brought by mobile phones, mobile phones will just be a tool for them, not an indispensable spiritual comfort; Even if they get addicted occasionally, their internal motivation will remind them to manage a life beyond mobile phones.

The Unignorable Law of Physiological Development

 

In short, children are somewhat dependent on mobile phones, which is inevitable in this digital age.

 

However, this does not mean that children will surely become addicted to mobile phones.

 Besides using subtle approaches to cultivate anti - addiction ability, parents should also master the laws of children's physical development.

 

Children with different levels of physical and mental maturity have different strategies for dealing with mobile phone addiction.

 

The frontal lobe in children's brains, which controls emotions, develops at a much slower rate.

 

It takes decades to accumulate experience and is fully mature after the age of 20. Therefore, for children aged 0 - 12, parents should strictly regulate the time their children spend on electronic devices.

 

Even if complete avoidance is not possible, parents should minimize their children's exposure to highly pleasurable mobile phone content to ensure the healthy growth of their frontal lobes. When children can control their emotions and their frontal lobes are initially formed, they can be allowed to use electronic devices.

 

 And in the process, cultivate children's internal motivation to help them master the tool of mobile phone as soon as possible. Some people say that in the next decade, the challenge will be whether AI controls humans or humans control AI.

 

If children can master mobile phones in their early years, they will be better equipped to navigate larger virtual networks as adults. When parents help children cultivate anti - addiction ability, they are guiding children to be at the forefront of the times.

 

In this process, correct methods are indispensable, but the most important thing is still parents' unconditional love for their children.

 

When children's hearts are filled with their parents' love, the happiness brought by mobile phones is overshadowed by this love.

 

Only in this way can children demonstrate real and firm willpower and live out their own lives in the era of information explosion.